The Giving Season

December 16, 2011 by

With only nine days until Christmas, I have to say the spirit has evaded me this year.

Not that I’m a Scrooge. I love the sentiment behind Christmas. I really enjoy decorating and baking and taking time to think of others. What I don’t enjoy is the extra dose of stress that tends to go along with all of that.

Face it. Life moves at a faster clip than it did ten or even five years ago. Hours turn to days and days to weeks within a blink of an eye. One day it’s Thanksgiving, the next it seems to be the Fourth of July. When your everyday life keeps you running from the moment your feet hit the bedroom floor until you’re back in the evening settling in for a few hours of shut-eye, it’s hard to be happy about all the extra duties of the holiday.

While talking with a friend yesterday, I realized that those responsibilities we give ourselves–the extra work and the rigmarole–isn’t really the meaning behind the season.

This year, I struggled to get my Christmas cards out and was disappointed that they weren’t in the mail the weekend following Thanksgiving.  I pouted because I got out voted on decorations. Since we will be out-of-town for the holidays, the rest of the family deemed them an unneccesary stress. I struggled to find time to bake and I’ve fretted over what gifts I’m going to purchase and how I’m going to get them delivered.

This morning, when I delivered a plate of fresh-bakes treats to our bank as a thank-you to the ladies (and gentleman) who I deal with on a daily basis, and saw the sincere appreciation at being remembered that I realized every bit of pressure we put on ourselves to make a holiday perfect, moves us further away from the real intent.

Being remembered. Doing for another. Giving of ourselves.

Those are the real meanings of the season.

And that shouldn’t be something that causes you stress. It should come from the heart.

***

Traditionally, this blog goes on hiatus for the last two weeks of the year, but this year I will be guest blogging the MVRWA Group Blog on December 26 and will cross link to that post here.

***

In the new year I will be changing the posting schedule here.  Instead of Monday, Wednesday, and Friday posts, I will post on Tuesday and Thursday … with an occasional weekend bonus post.

Look for the first post of 2012 to hit these pages January 3, 2012.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Being Thankful / Nano Update

November 28, 2011 by

A couple of weeks ago I began planning a post for Thursday of last week. The not-so-original topic was to be “what I am thankful for.” Normally, I try not to stumble into the per-fabricated boxes, especially here on this blog, but I’d had an eye-opening conversation with someone who made me realize that my glass-half-empty attitude toward life wasn’t cool nor justified.I’ve spent a good percentage of this year worrying, mostly about money and the unpredictable future. On this particular day — a Friday — I was at my desk in the office going through my normal routine: paying bills for both my household and the business and working on the upcoming week’s budget. A conversation was struck up with someone who was doing the same thing, and a casual comment that was made about how much money he had left after paying his bills sent me reeling.

I thought things were tough for me, but they are so much worse for so many others.

It’s oh-so-easy to look at a half-empty glass and wish it were full. Being pessimistic can come natural, but it’s important, I believe, to take stock of what’s good.  We’ve been blessed. We may have hit some very large bumps in the past year, but we still have work. We’re still making an income that provides for my family.

We have our health.

And I have a wonderful network of friends and family that have been a rock of emotional support for me.

For all these things I’m not only thankful but very blessed.

So, why didn’t this post — or the one I began writing two weeks ago — get published last Thursday? Early Thursday morning I received some news that can only be compared to getting a swift kick in the stomach. The disappointment was made doubly worse by the timing. There was no reason it had to be delivered on Thanksgiving, but it was. The only way I felt I could move forward was to unplug myself from the internet, throw myself into cooking, and surround myself with family.

Friday evening a knock out punch came that laid me out flat. The lesson I’d been taught a couple of weeks ago had fluttered away and I was back in the depths of despair. The mere idea of publishing a post about being thankful seemed ludicrous and fake. If nothing else, I’m going to be true to myself on these pages.

Progress report: I have a two-day moping rule. Forty-eight hours in the maximum time I’m allowed to wallow in my own pain and self medicate with chocolate and coffee. After that, I’m required to pull up the big girl panties and go back to work. Yesterday, I took some positive steps that I hope will lead to some progress with my goals. Today, I’m moving forward. Today, I am thankful.

***

Nano Update: Last week I was consumed with the day job. The time to produce words was pretty thin and I fell woefully behind on the 50k goal. I was able to hit my smaller goal of working most days and played ‘catch up’ over the weekend, producing 4,500 words. I have to look over the whole picture a bit later today, but am pretty sure pushing myself to reach 50k would only add stress that I don’t need and encourage me to puke words instead of write them. I do  understand that a big part of Nano is about getting words on the page that can be edited later, I really don’t want to let myself sink to a words for the sake of words mentality.

The meter on the right, does not reflect last week’s production. I hope to have it updated by noon today. On Wednesday (month’s end) I will give a final report here.

Filed Under: Life, NaNoWriMo, Writing Life Tagged With: , , , , , ,

NaNoWriMo, Day Two

November 2, 2011 by

When most people think of November, I’m sure they focus on Thanksgiving, holiday shopping, colder weather and shorter days. Then there are those of us who write. We look at November with excitement and more than a little fear. For us, November is all about NaNoWriMo. (National Novel Writing Month).

If writing is not your thing, you’re probably asking yourself why would any normal person try to write a whole novel in one month.  I think for everyone who attempts the reason in different. I had a very personal reason for attempting it this year.

I’ve taken the challenge twice before. The first time I made the 50,000 words with a few to spare by month’s end. The second time I came very close but fell short by a few thousand words. (What would be a day’s worth of writing for me at the time.) So I knew it was do-able. Or at least, do-able then.

Up until April of this year I had a very firm handle on my writing life. I followed a schedule that had been fine tweaked to work for me.  I did a little freelance work over the morning coffee followed by social media. Around 10:00 am I would dig into my current manuscript, write until I took a lunch break. My writing day would end with either a second round of writing in the afternoon, or an editing session.

Then — like many people these days — I was forced back into the work force. The stress in my life grew massively. And I started going days and days without writing a word. Without that rigid, but working schedule, I felt like every other aspect of my life had started to crumble.

I grew unsure of the ground I stood on.

A few weeks ago, I knew something had to change and I saw the up-and-coming NaNo month as a chance to embrace old habits.  I may never have my dedicated schedule of last year, but I can build a new schedule that allows me to chase the dreams and pay the bills.  I delegated some house hold responsibilities, and I embraced the idea of NaNo.

I’m still holding the main goal of NaNo as my own: write 50k this month. If accomplished, it will take me past the 2/3 mark on my current WIP and help me to feel like a productive writer again. However, I do acknowledge a smaller goal. Write Every Day!

Because that’s what writer’s do.

 

Filed Under: Fiction, NaNoWriMo, Writing Life Tagged With: , , ,

Life: A Construction Zone

October 12, 2011 by

For the past couple of weeks, the gas company has been working in our neighborhood laying new pipe and moving meters.  Of course, this has caused all kinds of havoc on the street. Besides the obvious day I had to take off work work from home, there’s the headache of maneuvering the heavy equipment and the damage to finely manicured lawns of the neighborhood.

So, you might be guessing that my positive spin on this would be that I can grab a lawn chair and a wine cooler, set up camp in the front yard and get all inspired for my rough-and-tumble heroes in Ultimate Catch. That is a positive, and if I said I didn’t enjoy some manual-labor eye-candy, I’d be blatantly lying.

But it was a completely different revaluation I had this morning as I was cursing out loud as I had to weave around the backhoe blocking the road.

Life is a construction zone. (And we should be issued hard-hats at birth.)
 

On a daily basis we have to maneuver bumpy roads and zig-zag to avoid pot holes. Sometimes our attempts to dodge the obstacles fail, and we have to shut-down for repairs.

 On the flip side, as we progress through each construction phase, there are improvements with the overall project. We get closer and closer to that bright, shiny finished project.

More time than not, the end result is worth the little bit of dust we have to endure along the way.

Filed Under: Life, Writing Life Tagged With: , , , ,

It’s All About the Experiance

February 21, 2011 by

Anyone who writes knows that we do our best work when we can draw from experiences. The best descriptions of falling in love are those that are reflections of our own hearts and pasts. Same goes for anger, pain, grief…

Not that we’ll always use analogy like the coffee cup to the left suggests, but the best way to paint how a character feels, or know how a character is going to react to a situation we put them in, is to have been there, done that.

An example: When I’m working on a scene which requires one character to be attracted to another, I draw upon the things I’ve experienced: the sweaty palms, the “light stomach,” the racing heart…you get the idea. The same goes for fear, pain, grief, etc.  I have a very full box of experiences to draw from, simply because I’ve lived my life.

I try hard to be fearless when it comes to trying new things and engaging in different activities (even if I’m sure it’s not going to be my cup of tea) because a) we don’t really know until we try and b) I don’t ever want to try to imagine what something feels like by reading an analogy. I want to know what it’s like, because I’ve done it.

All of it: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Is part of my reasoning about keeping that writer’s resource box full of great ideas? Maybe a little. But, for the most part, it’s about adventure. It’s chasing falling stars and living out dreams. It’s sticking my toes in the Pacific ocean even if it’s a frigid day, just because it was something I’d always wanted to do. The crisp water washing over my feet and the icy sand scratching the bottom is a sensation I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Traveling to Vegas — pretty much on the drop of a dime — because a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity came up is one of the crazy life experiences that tops my list, not only for the actual event but every little step from making the decision, to a celebrity viewing on my layover.

I think the pictured coffee cup got it wrong. Life shouldn’t be like an analogy. Life is for making experiences. What are some of your craziest?

Note: There wasn’t a blog post this past Friday, because I was out making memories.

Filed Under: Life, Music, Writing Life Tagged With: , , , , ,

Vintage? Me?

January 20, 2010 by

I’ve always considered myself lucky. Even though I’m not ashamed to admit my love for the music of my youth–synthesizers and hand claps rock–I’ve allowed my tastes to evolve. I enjoy many of the same acts my kids do, and their friends are surprised when I can talk about the music they like or let them plug their iPod in when they’re riding in my car. So, it was a little unnerving for me to be at a local concert venue/nightclub frequented by late teens/young adults to see one my favorite bands…and be nearly the oldest person in the room.

But let’s hit the rewind the button and flash on a conversation that happened before me, the hubby, and the kids had even left the house.  My daughter was all decked out in her trip pants and funky vest, classic emo pop-punk attire. My son, a true dynamic opposite was what he called ‘the business side’ of punk rock as he was pointing out the differences in their wardrobe.

So then Mom asked a silly question. “What does that make me?” What was I wearing? Blue jeans and a simple black shirt. It was a concert afterall, not a night at the opera.  “Old school?” I offered. “More like Vintage punk.” He answered.

Vintage? “That’s cool. In a Skid Row kind of way, Right?”

“Skid Row? Is that a band or something?” He shot right back at me. It hit like an arrow to the heart. Had I failed somewhere along the way.  Nah, the kid is probably just messing with me.

Some people might take Vintage as an insult, (I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t meant as one.) but I don’t. Vintage is cool. Vintage comes back in style. People design whole rooms around vintage, when something is old, they just throw it away. Right.

So, yeah. Fast forward to where I started. For about 90 seconds I was feeling really bad about being in a neck and neck race with about six other people for ‘oldest person in the room’.  That is until one of the contenders start with the hatin’: Hollering out disparaging comments toward the lead singer. (Really, you came all the way out here on  a Monday night to hate on the band?”  And then contender number 2 starts going ape-shit over the slam-dancing in front of the stage. (Dude. Where did you think you were going?)  That is acting old! For sure!  Vintage? Vintage was laughing, joking, and dancing with the modern and hip around her.

Yeah…Vintage…I’ll wear that badge proudly.

Filed Under: Life, Music Tagged With: , , , ,

Reaching Higher

December 11, 2009 by

This is the time of year when life just gets crazy on us. With the shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping presents etc, we barely have time to breathe, let alone focus on career goals. Don’t even get me started on loft career goals, like getting a book published.

reaching_higherBut the fact of the matter is if you want to succeed in a field that is so hard to break into, there really is no time for holidays or breaks. And as we reach year end, that time of reflection where we look at the year past and make goals for the coming one, I find myself believing there’s one road to success and the road signs all say one thing: Work Hard!

So, instead of giving myself permission to slack off because it’s the holidays, I’m setting my goals higher than normal.  ‘Good enough’ isn’t any where close to acceptable. And the one thing I know for sure is if I can do it during December, doing it the rest of the year will be a snap. They say it takes thirty days of reptition to make something a habit. I’m hoping by January 11 high daily word counts will be a habit and not a goal that seems just out of reach.

Maybe then, the main destination will come into focus.

In the meantime, I can scratch one round of holiday baking off my list. (I’m sure the brownies are going to shrink my jeans.) And most of my shopping is done. Hope to get the carsd and packages mailed this weekend and the wrapping done early next.  There’s a few holiday parties looming between now and the day of celebration, but I do believe it’s possible to share the season with family and friends, and still stay focused on my goals.

Filed Under: Life, Writing Life Tagged With: , , ,

Monday Musing: Feels Like a Monday

November 2, 2009 by

“Feels like a Monday, I probably should have stayed in bed.” — “Beautiful You”, Rick Springfield

It seemed really apropos when that song came up on the iPod this morning while I was making the morning drive. Last week was rather long and really stressful.  The front half was spent prepping for company and the second half was enjoyable, spending time with family.  When the visit was over, though, it was like every last bit of energy seeped from my body and I needed the weekend to do absolutely nothing. Now that it’s Monday, I look at everything I should have accomplished last week and over the weekend and there’s a part of me that wants to crawl back under the covers.

We’re coming off relaxation mode with a full t0-do list. I often find that so overwhelming. Monday can be so intimidating.  Is that why they get such a bad rap?

But if you dig deeper into the song (Video below), it’s about so much more than dreading Mondays. If we want to wallow in the gloom and doom of that there is always “I Don’t Like Mondays”. Right?

So I’m going to dig a little deeper into today. Try not to over-think the fact that it’s a Monday, and scratch those items off the to-do list one more time.  After I give the song one more look/listen.

Filed Under: Life, Music Tagged With: , , ,

The Art of Surrender

February 26, 2009 by

Last week I blogged about how a particular scene was coming real slow for me… and I just couldn’t figure out what the issue was. (Sometimes those characters just don’t cooperate the way we’d like them to.) After posting that blog I spent several more hours on that same section, agonizing over every single work, it seemed, until it occurred to me what wasn’t happening.

The hero of the story had spent a good portion of the book protecting his previously broken heart. Yes, he was attracted to the heroine, they’d been through quite a bit and had grown quite close, but he hadn’t surrendered. Hadn’t accepted or admitted that he was willing to put his heart on the line again. he hadn’t surrendered.

As soon as I realized that was why everything else I was writing seemed disingenuous, and quite simply untrue, it all fell into place. Once I wrote that emotional surrender, the rest of the scene flew from my keyboard quite quickly.

That got me to thinking what a power emotional experience surrender actually it is.

To be clear, I’m not talking about a physical surrender to someone more powerful than you. I’m talking about that step when a person lets go of the past or something from the past that is affecting their now. The process of letting down those big sturdy walls we can build around ourselves to protect us from pain. Or, in my case, allowing someone else to help me out by doing something for me.

I’m one of those people who can take on a lot. I want to help in every situation I can, and I want my house run my way. If someone else tries to help me by doing a chore, I really have to check myself so that I don’t obsess that it wasn’t done the way I’d do it.

Yeah, surrendering can be very tough for me…maybe that’s why it was the last thing for me to think about in that scene.

Filed Under: Life, Writing Life Tagged With: ,